Thinking about hitting on that hot girl in your office? Back off, dude! She's married!
Yeah, there's no ring on her ring finger and she has never mentioned that she has a husband. She is on such great terms with the other single ladies in the office, chatting, giggling and shopping with them all the time. And she never misses a single party every Happy Friday! How can she be married?
But unfortunately, she is married. She takes off the ring before she steps into the office and puts it back on after she gets home. She and her husband agree that he should not call her when she's at work or partying with her colleagues. Nobody in the office, including her boss, knows that she is no longer available for dates.
But wait a second before you scream out, "What an evil woman!" Think. Has she ever told you that she is unmarried or said yes to any male colleague's dinner or movie invitation?
No, she just becomes evasive every time someone brings up related topics and turns down all the invitations in a way that never embarrasses anybody.
Basically she didn't fabricate anything about her marital status. She's just hiding it. She may be sending a few misleading signals, but misleading only because people are so obsessed with the fun-averse, dull-talking, steak-smelling images of married women who inevitably have a wedding ring to go with their unshaped nails.
Nowadays more and more office ladies choose to keep their marriage a secret from their colleagues. Admittedly, they are taking advantage of people's mistaken knowledge.
Some pretend to be single because that's the only way they feel good about themselves in the office. Their logic is: If people know you are married, you are no longer approachable. They would still be polite and pleasant; they just wouldn't come any closer.
It's likely that young girls wouldn't even give you a chance to prove that you can talk about topics other than household chores and digestive problems before they automatically separate you from their group.
Male co-workers, married or not, would not be as ready to extend a helping hand. "Come on, she is another man's wife; she must be tough."
Intimacy with co-workers is crucial, however. It makes you feel more confident and appreciated at work. Plus, it's much easier to be a good team player if you mix well with your colleagues.
But losing socializing opportunities is not the worst-case scenario. In certain positions and businesses, married women are more likely to lose the right to compete on a level playing field than unmarried women and male co-workers, thanks to people's bias against them.
In some extreme cases, employers won't hire a married woman in the first place and the most frequently cited reason is: "What if she wants to have a baby in three months?"
So for many ambitious married women, mostly those between 25 and 35 who do not plan to have children any time soon, lying by omission looks like the easiest way to anticipate unfavorable possibilities and unnecessary trouble in the office.
As long as they manage to get consent from their husbands, it's perfectly okay if they choose not to disclose their marital status.
Flirting with male colleagues on purpose is, of course, another story.
