If you fall in love with a Chinese woman and decide to get married, do remember that you marry the woman, you marry the family. Chinese parents will be pretty cautious to choose the future husband for their daughters. Then how to impress your Chinese girlfriend’s parents at the first meet? You have something to learn.
If you fall in love with a Chinese woman and decide to get married, do remember that you marry the woman, you marry the family. Chinese parents will be pretty cautious to choose the future husband for their daughters. Then how to impress your Chinese girlfriend’s parents at the first meet? You have something to learn.
Preparation
You absolutely have to bring something for the family when meeting her Chinese parents for the first time. Ask your girlfriend if her parents have anything they like specially. If no, it will be nice to bring tonics, tea or fruit in terms of Chinese culture. Remember, the more valuable your gift is, the better you show your sincerity.
At the Door
Take off your shoes. Smile a lot and shake hands with your girlfriend’s parents one by one warmly, with two hands, one gripping their hand, the other on top. Bow your head a little. No too much, no Japanese style. Don't try to hug them, or you'll be considered too passionate.
Entering the House
Try to use as much Chinese as you can, simple Chinese like ni hao, xie xie; look around their home, if it's nice say piao liang, etc.
Siting Down and Chatting
Relax, and answer all questions her parents ask honestly. Try to tell amusing stories about yourself but not too much. If you run out of subjects to talk to them about, talk about your girlfriend and how impressed you are about her background. Maybe she's a great artist, a talented student, has two majors etc. Complimenting her is a way of complimenting what a good job they have done as parents. They will enjoy hearing this and you will build confidence with the parents that you are trying your best to understand her---you benefit doubly. This type of conversation can be dragged on indefinitely if your Chinese skills allow for it.
At the Table
If you are having a meal, make sure to serve the mother, father, other family members and your girlfriend before you serve yourself. If they tell you to stop this, do it anyway one more time to show your sincerity. If they tell you a second time to stop, continue to serve your girlfriend before yourself, this will show your affection in a Chinese way without all the hugging and kissing. Eat everything they give to you, don't get too drunk unless they are pushing you to.
Before Leaving
Express your heartfelt thanks for their hospitality. Say goodbye politely to them. Act more respectful than usual towards your Chinese girlfriend. Never hold her long and kiss her around her parents and leave with reluctance.
Chinese parents want the best for their daughter. They want to make sure that they commit their daughter to a safe, responsible and respectable man, especially when who is from totally different region culture. You have to nail that initial first impression, show good manners, and muster up some genuine interest in these people. Let them know that you are the exact man for their daughter. Then you’ll grasp the success.